Can I make the two fan/lights work by switching them at 3 different places [2 3ways and 1- 4 way switch] and also use the remote to operate both fan/lights? .... ..... Or will I have to wire two more 3 ways and one more 4 way to operate the lights separate from the fans? .... YIPES! HELP!
It's really a matter of electrical circuitry. You can connect up any piece of control for equipment using your 3 3ways and 1 4way, and if done properly will switch the equipment on and off.
So right now when your circuit is in the off position there is no electricity available at your fans. When the circuitry is on the on position, there is electricity at the fans. Your controller for your remote is inline with this circuitry. So you can switch each light and fan off and on with the remote only if the circuit is in the on position.
In control speak we say, all stops are wired in series and all starts are wired in parallel. Using mechanical switches in series with the electronic controllers means your normal status is stop or off. Trying to wire in parallel with the equipment you specified means the normal status is start or on and the circuit would never turn off.
You might be able to use electronic (smart) switches and the remotes together but they would have to be addressed properly to coordinate with the controllers.
Hope this helps shed some light, so to speak.