Should I just lag bolt the ledger to the rim, or should I reinforce the rim joist with say a simpson strongtie htt4, and carriage bolt, and cut some cats to attach it? It seems that if there were a lot of people on the deck it could potentially rip the rim joist off the house.
Just don't exceed maximum overhang which it sounds & looks like what you are referring to?. Load beams must be ON POSTS, not hanging from them. From diagram and the height of deck what you have is not to code..imminent failure that will eventually happen. Study up and do it the right way sir.